(Note: while I am using the gender pronouns she/he this complex may refer to all genders and sexual orientations). The Madonna/Whore Complex is a term that was coined by the psychologist Sigmund Freud. It refers to a man’s inability to achieve sexual arousal with his wife or long-term partner but Read more…
Have you felt that you are at the “end of the road” because one of you is vanilla and the other kinky? Are you struggling to find ways to both get your needs met? I know it can feel like an endless loop of frustration, however, with some experimentation, an Read more…
Has your porn consumption gone from casual use to daily dependence? Are you having a difficult time sexually engaging with your partner because you are used to masturbating to porn? Do you need some help finding ways to scale back your use? Before reading, please note: there is a spectrum Read more…
Listen to this Blog post on The O Word Podcast with Dr. Anya The bulk of my practice as a sexologist is supporting couples with mismatched libidos achieve a more balanced sex life. In many healthy relationships one partner desires sex more than the other. Unfortunately, many people feel that Read more…
Is your smart phone ruining your sex life? Instant gratification is at our fingertips in the form of news, weather, porn, facebook and instagram, emails, texting and phone calls. We can probably all agree, we are a society obsessed and frankly, addicted, to our smart phones. Dopamine from smart phones. Read more…
Alcohol as sexual lubricant Sex and alcohol often go hand in hand like good bread and creamy butter. It’s hard to imagine one without the other. For many people alcohol acts as an aphrodisiac, a mental and physical lubricant that can take you from the blahs to the oh yeahs Read more…
Listen to this Blog post on The O Word Podcast Female ejaculation the myth, mystery and glorious possibility! I taught my SquirtGasms! workshops for many years in the San Francisco Bay Area and around the world. Over the many years I taught female ejaculation workshops, the main question I got Read more…
“Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way; on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgementally” John Kabatt-Zinn Goal Oriented Masturbation In my practice I see many people who have a goal oriented approach to sex. This approach shows up in the way they approach sex with their partners as Read more…
First of all, what the heck is a bio-hack? A bio-hack is using systems to improve the quality of your life and freedom in your body and mind. These systems can range from diet to exercise to positive affirmations – basically anything beneficial that changes your body chemistry from a Read more…
I have learned from working with hundreds of people that low libido is the bodies natural response to stressors that are going on with the individual or in the relationship. We don’t want to do something that causes pain, displeasure, can be boring, feels unsafe, causes frustration, is mechanical or Read more…
Don’t take it personally. Trust me, I understand. It can be frustrating when you are in the throws of orgasmic bliss and your partner just isn’t there with you. I’ve been there myself and I know it can be hard not to take it personally. But, as soon as I Read more…
Are you and your partner in a struggle between, “I just want to have sex” and, “I just want to sleep”? Maybe you have small kids, run a household while maintaining a full-time job, have financial obligations that are mounting and are attempting to spend time together as a couple enjoying Read more…
Erotic Massage can turn around the most tired and boring sex lives! Many of the couples I work with have been together for a long time and have full-time jobs, kids, long commutes and modern-day stressors. They report being too tired to have anything but boring sex. When I say Read more…
Is the label of erectile dysfunction getting you down? It doesn’t have to! I want to debunk another myth that our culture likes to throw around. The myth that men must be rock hard and stay that way whenever they get aroused. I find that this myth has done a Read more…
Are you a head type? The majority of my clients are head types, also known as type A personality. They spend most of their days on the computer, in offices and in and out of meetings. The head type personality dominates our culture and in fact, is looked at as Read more…
Give yourself permission to feel. Do you give yourself permission to stop all momentum and feel the sensations in your body? I don’t mean quickies with your lover and hurried moments of masturbation but actually sitting still and feeling what is happening inside your skin and tapping into the amazing Read more…