Are you struggling with low sexual satisfaction? Do you feel that you and your partner are going through the motions and failing to connect on a deep level? Are you often stuck in your head and not connected to your body? Mindfulness can help!
When you feel deeply connected, embodied and present with yourself and your partner the quality of your intimacy will become much more satisfying. This is where mindfulness comes in.
It is important to learn how to connect to the pleasurable sensations in your body and stay there for longer and longer amounts of time to build arousal. Mindfulness is a practice of staying present in each moment which will increase your overall intimacy satisfaction.
This practice has had a profound effect on a variety of sexual health concerns my clients have faced including: erectile variations (or ED), anorgasmia, low desire and arousal and, desire discrepancy in a long-term relationship.
Mindfulness of Sensations
Practice staying connected to your body during intimacy by using mindfulness. Mindfulness is coming back to sensation again and again. It is not about stopping thoughts, but rather, re-orienting your mind to stay connected to your body, your awareness and the present moment.
A wonderful tool for coming back to your body during sexual or sensual touch is by doing the Mindfulness of Sensations during Touch exercise.
Steps:
- Practice this exercise when you are giving or receiving touch. It can be therapeutic, sensual or erotic.
- If you leave your body and get stuck in thoughts gently bring yourself back to your body and the sensations in your body. Track the sensations with your awareness and get really curious about them.
- Do they change?
- Does one sensation feel more pleasant than another?
- Can you pick up on subtle nuances of sensation?
- Can you expand the sensations by slowing your breath and staying present?
Simply notice with curiosity.
- If you have an over active mind, give it this tool:
To yourself, name the sensations that you feel when you are receiving or giving touch. Use descriptive words like: “Warm, cool, rough, smooth, enjoyable, pleasant, firm” etc. This will enable you to stay more firmly grounded in the present moment.
- Make sure to breathe. Staying connected to your breath helps your body know that it is safe. Safety in the present moment helps you stay connected to your body, thereby, increasing your capacity to feel pleasurable sensations.
- Remember, this is a practice not a perfect. It’s always best to do the practice for a short amount of time first to build confidence and success.
Keep practicing!
Learning to connect to your body with mindfulness takes training, commitment and a growth mindset. It can also be helpful to work with a coach that can guide you through these exercises. With individual and partner somatic awareness exercises like this one you can go from low intimacy satisfaction to a love life that is connected, deeply nourishing and a true balm for the stresses of daily life.
All the best!
Dr. Anya
