Take time out just for each other and work on the most important part of your lives: Intimacy, Love, Sex, Relationship, and Communication.
Have the flames died down in your relationship?
For some couples, the good news is that there is a strong, solid foundation of friendship, shared history, the ability to work well together as a team and a deep sense of connection – however, after many years of being together the sex life you share may have taken the backburner to focus on other concerns.
Have you stopped communicating with each other?
Sometimes, in order to play safe, not hurt each other’s feelings, or to avoid conflict couples can find themselves shutting down communication and turning away from each other making sexual frustrations even harder.
Do one of you desire more sex than the other?
Many relationships include one person having a higher sex drive than the other. Or, both people having frustrated sex drives.
Have there been past hurts that have not been healed between you?
In our modern world, we can encounter tremendous stressors which can lead to painful and harmful issues between couples.
Using a combination of:
Often, the lack of understanding between a couple comes from a lack of advanced sex education. We may have taken a semester or two of sex ed classes in our youth but even those failed to cover the important things you need to know about yourself and your partner. We will discuss all manner of sexuality including how human sexuality functions in various genders, sexual preferences, and sexual response systems.
Using Restorative Practices as a framework I facilitate “Restorative Conversations” between couples who have experienced past pain, resentments, the inability to communicate and the desire to create a safe space. We co-create safety guidelines, community agreements, and intentions to set the container before getting into conversations about sexuality as those can often be sensitive. In a safe space, couples feel relaxed, heard and honored.
The Gottman Method
I am trained in the Gottman Method Level 1. I use conflict resolution, shared meaning, friendship building and identifying The Four Horseman of the Apocolypse when necessary with couples.
Somatic Sex Therapy
After a few sessions, it may be a great idea to learn some hands-on skills with each other. This can include: how to ask for touch, how to give touch, various techniques to improve your sensual connection and so on. I teach and facilitate touch between couples but do not enter into the hands-on work myself. This allows for a container of trust between myself and clients.
Every couple is different and every couple will receive a custom-crafted curriculum just for them. This can include various HomePlay exercises meant to address your individual needs and concerns and the goals you set for your relationship.