Have you ever been at a complete loss when your partner asks, “what do you like in bed”?

Like many people you may draw a blank when asked this question.  The reason why is that being put on the spot about one’s likes and dislikes can be difficult.  It’s a top down question.  There is an expectation that the mind somehow knows what the body likes.  And this can be especially difficult to answer when it comes to sex.

A better technique is to try a few things and let the body inform the mind – a bottom up approach. When you experience pleasure in the body the mind then has a reference point. 

I explain this technique a little more in the video below.

Reach out if you have any questions.


Dr. Anya

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Categories: Sex Education

Dr. Anya

Dr. Anya is a sexuality expert with over 25 years experience working with individuals, couples, and groups. Dr. Anya has a Doctor of Human Sexuality degree and is a certified sex educator and certified sexologist. Dr. Anya has a private practice in the San Francisco Bay Area working with individuals and couples and invites straight and LGBTQ people into her practice.