Human sexuality is much more complex, varied and nuanced than what the mainstream teaches. There are dozens of myths that people are taught by school and media. In an effort to disseminate accurate, non-judgmental sex education here are a few myths that I am busting!

Myth 1. You need to have the perfect body to attract sexual partners, have good sex, and keep your lover happy.

This is the #1 myth that has been spread about human sexuality.

The truth is that you do not need to have the perfect body, face or hair to attract a lover, have good sex and keep your partner interested.

True seduction and potent sensuality comes from within not from without.  A powerful sexual draw is the result of embodying sexuality not performing sexuality.  Feeling sexy in your body is the most powerful aphrodisiac.

Myth 2. Everyone is happy with the kind of sex they are having.

People are getting a very small percentage of what they are actually craving. Most folks want a deep heart-felt connection, a sense of mystery, a desire for transcending the mundane, and many outside-the-norm sexual activities like kink and sacred sexuality.

There is a heavily embedded norm that what folks want is the traditional, vanilla sex they see on TV. For many people this is completely unsatisfying.

Myth 3. You are either heterosexual or homosexual.

There are few safe spaces to explore one’s sexuality which leaves folks limited to a binary form of sexual expression. In fact, what we know about human sexuality is that it is much more complex and nuanced. Many people are bi-sexual, pansexual, and bi-curious.

However, even if you are attracted to various genders it doesn’t mean that you can’t be in a monogamous relationship. It just means that you are normal if you find yourself attracted to someone of the same or opposite sex.

It is imperative to get curious and stay open-minded.

It is more important to get curious about people’s sexuality than to believe a blanket narrative. Ask questions, lean in with curiosity, create a safe space and understand that each person is unique. When we stay open-minded it goes a long long way.

The good news is that high quality, satisfying sex can happen when folks communicate their desires to each other, learn new techniques, slow down and create a safe space for exploration.

All the best,

Dr. Anya

Categories: Sex Education

Dr. Anya

Dr. Anya is a sexuality expert with over 25 years experience working with individuals, couples, and groups. Dr. Anya has a Doctor of Human Sexuality degree and is a certified sex educator and certified sexologist. Dr. Anya has a private practice in the San Francisco Bay Area working with individuals and couples and invites straight and LGBTQ people into her practice.