If you are struggling in your relationship with communication, sex and intimacy you have come to the right place.
Many of my clients find my style to be warm, engaging, empowering and fun. I create a safe and supportive space to discuss issues related to sexuality for those that have found it difficult to find help elsewhere.
Still searching for help?
Have you been to medical doctors and marriage therapists but are still struggling in the bedroom? You are definitely not alone.
Research shows that most long term relationships suffer from intimacy challenges and that many of those challenges affect the quality of your sex life. It’s through learning how to communicate effectively, connect the body, mind and heart and feel empowered in your sexuality that you can have an exciting, fulfilled and deeply meaningful relationship.
Many couples have already had some amount of marriage/couples therapy but were not able to effectively shift their sexual issues. Some people have sought help from doctors for sexual health issues that are impacting their sex lives and still not quite gotten the results they’d like.
Why I do this work.
I specialize in working with couples for two reasons 1) My own transformation in my long-term relationship. Everything that I ask couples to do I have done myself! And, I have seen an amazing transformation during tough times. Couples work with my partner is my favorite work to do. 2) Facilitating healing around sex and intimacy with couples and seeing their transformation is so rewarding. I am a huge advocate for intimate relationships and know that with the right set of tools and a safe space to talk about sex lasting transformation can happen. I see it time and time again!
What is the Approach?
This work is a blend of weekly sessions + specific HomePlay exercises. I have see this method bear results in couples quickly. It takes about 5-20 sessions to see tremendous changes in communication, intimacy and sex.
The modalities I use:
The Gottman Method for Couples
I am a HUGE Gottman Method fan. I have seen this method work wonders in my own relationship as well as make profound changes in my clients’. The Gottman Method is designed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman and based on an over 30 year research study on long-term marriages and how they work. I use the Gottman Method Relationship Check Up Assessment tool with clients who need a little extra help identifying the areas that are impacting their sex lives the most. I go over the 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work including the Sound Relationship House, 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse, Repair Attempts and much more. I am trained in The Gottman Method levels 1&2 and am finishing my certificate in The Gottman Method for Affairs & Trauma.
I am a huge believer in mindfulness practices for stress and anxiety. Mindfulness works wonders for those struggling with erectile dysfunction, early or delayed ejaculation, pelvic floor pain including vaginismus and performance anxiety. I have developed curriculum that includes mindfulness exercises for various issues including weaning from porn overuse. In our sessions we always start with a mindful meditation as a way to break from the busy day, get into our bodies and begin the exciting work of healing.
Restorative practices for healthy communication
As a Restorative Justice and Restorative Practices facilitator I bring in the concepts of RJ to working with couples around conscious communication, creating agreements, conflict negotiation and safety guidelines. This work is powerful! By creating safer spaces to have challenging conversations positive transformation can happen.
Somatic awareness practices
All of the HomePlay that I have designed comes from somatic sexology. It is through doing somatic (body-based) exercises that true intimacy and connection can happen. It is not enough just to talk about sex and intimacy, couples need practices that will foster connection for true transformation to happen.
Many couples have only had basic sex education or none at all. It is rare for people to really understand how their bodies work. There are a lot of myths about human sexuality that we get from societal messages and scripts, social media, mainstream media and religious or cultural upbringing. It is vital that people understand how their bodies actually function so that they can be empowered to make changes that are sustainable and pleasurable.
The emphasis of hormone education in my practice is on: 1. How human sexuality changes over our lifespan. Couples often come to me because they aren’t having the kind of sex they had when they were younger and judging and comparing themselves to how they used to be. It’s imperative to understand how hormone changes happen in the body over time and to provide options that you can choose to better function optimally. 2. We discuss how high levels of the hormones cortisol and adrenaline decrease pleasure, sexual function and create dysfunctions in the body. You will learn strategies to bio-hack this system and lower cortisol levels thereby, enabling sexual function. 3. Additionally, we discuss all the exciting ways you can feel yummy hormones such as oxytocin and dopamine and ways to boost testosterone naturally.
Neuroscience shows us that our brains are not stuck in a rut but that they are constantly evolving and changing. We call this neuroplasticity. By harnessing the power of neuroplasticity through HomePlay exercises couples can make gradual and lasting changes in their connections with their bodies, their mindset and each other.
As a trained sexologist I do not take the view that there Is something “wrong” with you. I believe that due to negative messages about sexuality, lack of communication skills and busy lives couples get Into situations where things just aren’t going well. This Is also true for stress, anxiety and the sexual health Issues that can happen as a result. It Is not that there Is something wrong – In my view It’s that there Is something that needs to change. The view of positive psychology Is that by seeing ourselves as whole, perfect and complete rather than damaged and defected we can make Important, effective and lasting change while growing more and more healthy and empowered.
Please feel free to contact me for any questions about my Approach. I invite you to take a look at the testimonials on this website as well as on Google & Yelp to see how this work has benefited many couples just like you. Note: 19 of my 5 star Yelp reviews are buried. Yelp has a funny algorithm that only allows reviews to be shown from people who have recent yelp reviews and photos. You can scroll down to the bottom of my Yelp page and see the “unpublished reviews” section for a ton of more amazing reviews from couples.
Reach out at any time with any questions. You can fill out my contact form for a 20 minute free phone consultation or send me a text: 415-570-1302.