I can’t help but feel extraordinarily grateful for choosing such a wonderful profession.  What could be better than helping people open up to greater and greater states of pleasure and fulfillment in their bodies? With the craziness of our modern day society, the rushing around and accomplishing so much, lists and more lists, traffic, cars, coffee, kids…we are a culture separated from the wisdom of our bodies.  In fact, do we ever really give our selves permission to just stop and feel?  I don’t mean the quickies with our lovers and the stolen moments of masturbation during lunch breaks but actually sitting still and feeling what is happening inside our skin.  The amazing amounts of sensation that we hold, the pleasure, the pain, the emotion.  We live constantly trapped in our minds – past, future, far distant future, far distant past, regrets, shoulda, woulda, coulda, on and on and on.

Often times I have clients who take a really really long time to relax.  Just the very act of breathing has become labored in so many people.  This is how out of touch we are with our life force – breath. The most crucial part of our survival has become stifled.

When one of my clients finally does decide (yes, it’s a choice) to breathe deeper it’s like an epiphany.  Wow, breathing creates relaxation, relaxation releases tension, releasing tension creates more sensation, more sensation creates more pleasure and wow, the orgasmic energy starts!  Without being touched, no genital stimulation but just breathe and the intention for more liberates the life force energy begins to radiate throughout the whole body allowing us to sink in, feel more, open up to….pleasure.

It’s simple and yet so deeply profound.

I love my work and I love to see people finding these moments of calm.  These small moments, or maybe hours, of peace from the MIND.  A place to sink into the wisdom of the body and the profound teachings of the sense fields.

For me, it’s a daily practice of noticing what is happening to my body.  Do I need to dance?  Do I need to stop and take deep breathes?  Do I need to feel connect with my partner and engage in conscious touch?  Do I just need to feel my emotions, maybe cry, maybe laugh?  All of these questions, practices, disciplines I do regularly.

I hope that you, who are reading this, also take the time, maybe just for a few deep breathes, to stop your busy life and open up to the wisdom of your own body…open up to pleasure.



Anya de Montigny, DHS is a sexuality expert with over 20 years experience working with individuals, couples, and groups. Dr. Anya has a Doctor of Human Sexuality (DHS) degree, is a certified sex educator and certified sex coach and was the host of the popular radio show The O Word Sex Talk Radio. Dr. Anya has a private practice in the San Francisco Bay Area working with individuals and couples and invites straight and LGBTQ people into her practice. She also teaches adult sex education classes as well as consent & boundaries workshops at Universities and Colleges.


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