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How do you become sexually emancipated?

By examining sexual scripts and societal norms, becoming embodied and cultivating a sustainable level of turn-on you will experience your own female sexual emancipation!

Have you ever felt that if your lover doesn’t get everything just right you won’t get turned-on and enjoy sex? And as a result, you shut down and don’t even want to go through the effort?

Do you believe that if you aren’t getting turned on that there is something externally wrong with you? Perhaps having thoughts like, “I’m too fat, too skinny, not pretty enough, not sexy enough”?

Or, are you inundated with other social/sexual scripts that prevent you from enjoying your body? And as a result, feel stuck and discouraged?

Well there is good news!

The good news is that it is possible for your sexual turn-on to come entirely from your own body regardless of how you look or even the skill set of your lover. It is possible to feel so turned-on that just by existing you have ongoing sexual flow.  Sound too good to be true? Read on…

Self-inquiry & challenging sexual scripts.

The first step to sexual emancipation is self-inquiry. By using the process of self-inquiry you can discover where you need to edit sexual scripts and societal norms and question the myths you have been taught about female sexuality. For instance, “women must be fit and hot to be sexy”, “if she isn’t well-groomed all the time she isn’t desirable”, “sex is about the man and his pleasure and not really for a woman’s pleasure”. Do any of these sound familiar? What are the sexual scripts and societal norms that you have been taught?

By using the Sexual Scripts Questionnaire you can begin the process of self-inquiry and gain more clarity around the beliefs that you hold in relation to your sexuality. Check out the inquiry questions and be open to the possibility that your turn-on is there just under the surface waiting to be expressed!

Becoming sexually embodied.

Another key step towards sexual emancipation is to cultivate an intentional masturbation practice.

With mindful masturbation you can go from having little to no sensation to having buckets of sensation just through the act of self-pleasuring!

By making time for your own pleasure through masturbation you will learn that pleasure is sourced from within you and your turn-on can be controlled by you!

Masturbation is the jedi training of female sexual emancipation. 

Mindful masturbation can be done as a sacred ritual or simply as a way to unwind after a long day. 

The main thing is that you do it!

As a result of masturbating, you will de-armor your body, increase genital sensation, work through body shame and discover what you like and do not like.

You may find that clitoral stimulation is your pathway to arousal, or, you may find that you enjoy the sensation of g-spot stimulation. You may realize that nipple play enhances pleasure. There are endless ways of finding your turn-on!

And, the exciting news is that the more you engage in self-pleasure the more naturally turned-on you will become.

Become an empowered woman.

Becoming sexually emancipated does not put the onus of responsibility on you, requiring you to do extra work. Rather, it transforms you into a more empowered, sexually whole woman.

Regardless of what your lover is doing you can still experience turn-on, make informed requests based on the knowledge of your body, identify your needs and boundaries, and blossom into the fullness of your sexuality. 

By becoming sexually emancipated your sexuality will be less about external factors and more about how you feel in your body.

Make it fun and pleasurable.

Getting in touch with your turn-on and becoming fully embodied is a worthwhile endeavor and can have a positive affect on all aspects of your life.

And, be gentle with yourself and take it one day at a time. Make it fun and pleasurable. Begin with self-inquiry and a masturbation practice and little by little you will gain more sexual emancipation and eventually, completely own your turn-on! From there you will be sexually free. 

But wait, does your partner have any role?

Yes! Your partner does have a role.  It is necessary for both partners to be embodied. Read my blog post, Get out of your head and Into your body to have good sex for some tips.

By being embodied you will both gain more access to pleasure. And as a result, you will increase your awareness of the needs of your lover, maintain great communication and be able to adjust the flow and rhythm of love making.

Get in touch.

For more embodiment exercises and tips to become a sexually emancipated woman do not hesitate to reach out!

🦋💕

Dr. Anya 


Anya

Anya de Montigny, DHS is a sexuality expert with over 20 years experience working with individuals, couples, and groups. Dr. Anya has a Doctor of Human Sexuality (DHS) degree, is a certified sex educator and certified sex coach and was the host of the popular radio show The O Word Sex Talk Radio. Dr. Anya has a private practice in the San Francisco Bay Area working with individuals and couples and invites straight and LGBTQ people into her practice. She also teaches adult sex education classes as well as consent & boundaries workshops at Universities and Colleges.

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