Dr. Anya’s Proven Approach to a Healthy, Happy Sex Life.
My approach is a blend of mindfulness, somatic sexology, sex education, The Gottman Method for Couples, neuroscience and non-judgmental, sex positivity. As each individual and couple is unique your sessions will be custom tailored to your needs. Please read on for more information on the modalities I use.
The Gottman Method
I use The Gottman Method for Couples as an educator and coach and teach couples practical tools and exercises to better their relationships. At the heart of healthy, satisfying sex is good communication, healthy conflict styles, knowing each other’s inner world, and deep intimacy.
The Gottman Method speaks to me as a sexologist because it is a proven, effective method that increases all of the most important factors that enable a healthy relationship to thrive. In this container of trust and commitment couples can flourish in their sex lives.
I am a certified Gottman Method Leader and certified in the Gottman Method levels 1 & 2.
I am a huge believer in mindfulness practices for stress and anxiety.
Mindfulness works wonders for those struggling with all aspects of their sexuality.
Erectile dysfunction, early or delayed ejaculation, pelvic floor pain (including vaginismus and dyspareunia), performance anxiety, becoming embodied, achieving orgasm and having better quality sex.
I have developed curriculum that includes mindfulness exercises for various issues including weaning from porn overuse.
In our sessions we always start with a mindful meditation as a way to break from the busy day, get into our bodies and begin the exciting work of healing.
I have a lifetime of training in meditation (raised in an Ashram as well as lived and studied in a Buddhist Dharma house) and have a personal, daily mindfulness meditation practice.
Restorative practices for healthy communication
As a restorative practices facilitator I bring in the core concepts of restorative justice to working with couples around conscious communication, creating agreements, conflict negotiation and safety guidelines. This work is powerful! By creating safer spaces to have challenging conversations positive transformation can happen.
Certified Restorative Justice and Restorative Practices educator.
Somatic awareness practices
All of the HomePlay that I have designed comes from somatic sexology. It is through doing somatic (body-based) exercises that true intimacy and connection can happen. It is not enough just to talk about sex and intimacy, couples need practices that will foster connection for true transformation to happen.
Each client has exercises to do in between session which strengthens intimacy and helps unlearn old habits and learn new, rewarding habits that will engender increased pleasure and sensation in the body.
I am certified in massage therapy, somatic sex education, sexological bodywork, Tantra yoga, and Bondassage.
I was a bodyworker for 20 years and retired from hands-on work many years ago to teach others how to engage in conscious, pleasurable touch.
Many couples have only had basic sex education or none at all. It is rare for people to really understand how their bodies work. There are a lot of myths about human sexuality that we get from societal messages and scripts, social media, mainstream media and religious or cultural upbringing. It is vital that people understand how their bodies actually function so that they can be empowered to make changes that are sustainable and pleasurable.
I am certified as a sex educator, and have a Doctor of Human Sexuality degree from IASHS.
The emphasis of hormone education in my practice is on:
1. How human sexuality changes over our lifespan. Couples often come to me because they aren’t having the kind of sex they had when they were younger and judging and comparing themselves to how they used to be. It’s imperative to understand how hormone changes happen in the body over time and to provide options that you can choose to better function optimally.
2. We discuss how high levels of the hormones cortisol and adrenaline decrease pleasure, sexual function and create dysfunctions in the body. You will learn strategies to bio-hack this system and lower cortisol levels thereby, enabling sexual function.
3. Additionally, we discuss all the exciting ways you can feel yummy hormones such as oxytocin and dopamine and ways to boost testosterone naturally.
Through my training as a sexologist I have a knowledge of hormones and am continuously updating my knowledge through further study.
Neuroscience shows us that our brains are not stuck in a rut but that they are constantly evolving and changing. We call this neuroplasticity. By harnessing the power of neuroplasticity through HomePlay exercises couples can make gradual and lasting changes in their connections with their bodies, their mindset and each other.
As a science geek I spend a lot of time studying neuroplasticity and the body/mind connection.
Sex positive & non-judgmental
As a trained sexologist I do not take the view that there Is something “wrong” with you. I believe that due to negative messages about sexuality, lack of communication skills and busy lives people get Into situations where things just aren’t going well. This Is also true for stress, anxiety and the sexual health Issues that can happen as a result. It Is not that there Is something wrong – In my view It’s that there Is something that needs to change. The view of sex positivity Is that by seeing ourselves as whole, perfect and complete rather than damaged and defected we can make Important, effective and lasting change while growing more and more healthy and empowered.
26 years of training in sexuality!
Please feel free to contact me for any questions about my Approach. I invite you to take a look at the testimonials on this website as well as on Google & Yelp to see how this work has benefited many couples just like you.