The modalities I use:
Every couple/individual is different and so I do not utilize all modalities in each case. Instead, I draw from the modalities that would best serve you and your needs.
The Gottman Method for Couples
I am a Certified Gottman Method Leader for 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work & Certified in the Gottman Method for Couples levels 1 & 2.
The Gottman Method is the work of Drs. John and Julie Gottman and based on a 30 year research study on long-term marriages and how they thrive.
I use the Gottman Method Relationship Check Up Assessment tool with some clients who need a little extra help identifying the areas that are impacting their sex lives the most.
We go over the 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work for couples who want to gain tools to help in strengthening intimacy, communication and connection as well as learning how to manage conflict. You do not need to be married to benefit!
I am a huge believer in mindfulness practices for stress and anxiety. Mindfulness works wonders for those struggling with erectile dysfunction, early or delayed ejaculation, pelvic floor pain including vaginismus and performance anxiety. I have developed curriculum that includes mindfulness exercises for various issues including weaning from porn overuse. In our sessions we always start with a mindful meditation as a way to break from the busy day, get into our bodies and begin the exciting work of healing.
I personally have a daily mindfulness meditation practice and believe that when incorporated into one’s daily life we can better manage stress and anxiety.
Restorative practices for healthy communication
As a Restorative Justice and Restorative Practices facilitator I bring in the concepts of RJ to working with couples around conscious communication, creating agreements, conflict negotiation and safety guidelines. This work is powerful! By creating safer spaces to have challenging conversations positive transformation can happen.
Somatic awareness practices
All of the HomePlay that I have designed comes from somatic sexology. It is through doing somatic (body-based) exercises that true intimacy and connection can happen. It is not enough just to talk about sex and intimacy, couples need practices that will foster connection for true transformation to happen.
Many couples have only had basic sex education or none at all. It is rare for people to really understand how their bodies work. There are a lot of myths about human sexuality that we get from societal messages and scripts, social media, mainstream media and religious or cultural upbringing. It is vital that people understand how their bodies actually function so that they can be empowered to make changes that are sustainable and pleasurable.
The emphasis of hormone education in my practice is on: 1. How human sexuality changes over our lifespan. Couples often come to me because they aren’t having the kind of sex they had when they were younger and judging and comparing themselves to how they used to be. It’s imperative to understand how hormone changes happen in the body over time and to provide options that you can choose to better function optimally. 2. We discuss how high levels of the hormones cortisol and adrenaline decrease pleasure, sexual function and create dysfunctions in the body. You will learn strategies to bio-hack this system and lower cortisol levels thereby, enabling sexual function. 3. Additionally, we discuss all the exciting ways you can feel yummy hormones such as oxytocin and dopamine and ways to boost testosterone naturally.
Neuroscience shows us that our brains are not stuck in a rut but that they are constantly evolving and changing. We call this neuroplasticity. By harnessing the power of neuroplasticity through HomePlay exercises couples can make gradual and lasting changes in their connections with their bodies, their mindset and each other.
As a trained sexologist I do not take the view that there Is something “wrong” with you. I believe that due to negative messages about sexuality, lack of communication skills and busy lives couples get Into situations where things just aren’t going well. This Is also true for stress, anxiety and the sexual health Issues that can happen as a result. It Is not that there Is something wrong – In my view It’s that there Is something that needs to change. The view of positive psychology Is that by seeing ourselves as whole, perfect and complete rather than damaged and defected we can make Important, effective and lasting change while growing more and more healthy and empowered.
Please feel free to contact me for any questions about my Approach. I invite you to take a look at the testimonials on this website as well as on Google & Yelp to see how this work has benefited many couples just like you.